I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
