I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
