Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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