I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
