sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
