Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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