She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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