It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
