whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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