i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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