Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
