It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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