There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
