If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
