Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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