Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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