i jhust puked up my retainher.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
