I'm lost and stupid without you.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
