Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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