why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
