i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
