You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
