So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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