physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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