obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize