Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
