using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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