Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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