This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
