Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
