Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This is my gift to your gina
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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