So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
