DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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