she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
