I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize