I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
