How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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