does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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