you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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