There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
this will be a night to untag.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
