another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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