....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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