I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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