A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
