I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it hurts more in the daytime
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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