he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
