i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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