craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have fence marks all over my body
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