she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Who wears a wallet chain?!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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