the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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