but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
