Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
bring money and cleavage
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
