i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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