They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
