had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
this is an emotional support booty call
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
