He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
