Your dad touched me again.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
