i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
