The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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