btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
