i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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